As I was packing my house, I was determined to get rid of a lot of "stuff." You know the things that you once used or thought you had to have but never used? Plus, I have a lot of things people have given me over the years that I felt obligated to keep. I've always found the "hold it close and if it brings you joy" mentality humorous. Generally, things don't really bring me joy. I have found though, when looking at something that was given to me, if it doesn't hold a special memory, I really don't need to keep it. I have so much "stuff" from my grandparents that I felt like I needed to keep. Downsizing has made me part with some of those things. To be honest, it has been a good thing.
I will admit, this move has brought up a lot of things that I thought had been left in the past. Moving back into a house I lived in years ago brought to mind a lot of good memories of the one whom I loved. Past tense of love. Yet, there are still good memories and things hard to forget. This week has thrown me into a whirlwind of unexpected emotions. I thought I would shed tears over moving out of my Granny's house, instead, the tears have come from memories of the one whom my heart once loved.
The place of my first kiss. The place where he asked me to be his girlfriend. The place where we seriously started talking about our future together. The place where he first told me he loved me. The place where he helped me make so many things. The room where cornice boards hung that he made for me. The place where the beautiful upholstered headboard once sat. The place where..... fill in the blank and it probably happened there. The majority of the time I lived in that house, we were dating. We spent so many hours there together. We laughed, cried, prayed, mourned, celebrated in that home. It was where he held me close in comfort after my uncle and I found my grandmother deceased.
I didn't expect these emotions, they blindsided me. Full of pain, hurt, sadness, and regret. As I get ready to go to the new house to work again, I'm not going to let these emotions get the best of me this week. I'm going to enjoy the newness. I'm going to look forward to new memories being made. I'm going to put the house together in thankfulness. I'm going forward with the thought and song in mind, "I've Come to Far to Look Back Again." I have. Most often it is best to leave the past in the past and look forward to today and what is to come.
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